Christians around the world are walking away from their faith as part of the faith deconstruction movement. It’s a trend encouraged and amplified on social media through deconstruction coaches and hashtags like #exvangelical and #deconstruction.
To understand what’s going on and how we, as Christians, can love people going through the process, we interviewed Tim Barnett for The Indigitous Podcast. Tim is an apologist and speaker with Stand to Reason and leads the online ministry Red Pen Logic with Mr. B. He also co-authored The Deconstruction of Christianity: What It Is, Why It’s Destructive, and How to Respond with Alisa Childers.
What is Deconstruction
To understand the harm faith deconstruction causes, we must first understand what it is. Many people use the term to mean different things, but it tends to follow a standard definition when it’s used online with the #deconstruction hashtag. “Deconstruction is a postmodern process of rethinking your faith without requiring Scripture as the standard,” Tim says.
The process is rooted in Jacques Derrida’s philosophy, which says there is no objective truth. “Objective truth isn’t the goal for many in the deconstruction space,” Tim says. So, people deconstructing their faith aren’t just asking questions, which would be good. They’re not trying to refine their faith to ensure their beliefs are scriptural. That’s because, in deconstruction, the Bible does not serve as a source of truth—there is no truth to be found.
In the process of deconstruction, many core beliefs—such as the concepts of hell and Jesus dying for our sins—are considered toxic and are therefore rejected. Tim’s research found people saying that it is child abuse to tell your kids that Jesus died for them. The truth of whether or not Jesus did die for them is irrelevant, so doctrine is judged as toxic if it feels bad. “When you get rid of truth, all you’re left with are preferences,” Tim says.
Why people deconstruct
In the last few years, there have been many famous Christians who have publicly deconstructed their faith and ultimately renounced their faith in Jesus. Their stories are all over social media, where they’re celebrated by the #exvangelical crowd and mourned by professing Christians. But why would they turn against God?
“Most people don’t make a conscious choice to enter into deconstruction,” Tim and Alissa write in The Deconstruction of Christianity. “It’s often triggered by a crisis that initiates the process. It’s typically not something people choose. In many cases, it happens to them.”
The crises are caused by a number of things, such as experiencing pain and suffering, being hurt by the church, or suppressed doubts. “Everyone goes through crisis. It’s not a matter of if, but when,” Tim says. However, not everyone who goes through a crisis will go through the process of deconstruction.
It goes back to the strength of your foundation. In Jesus’s Parable of the Sower (Matthew 13:3-9), He talks about four different types of soil. When the soil is shallow, the seeds of faith are prone to being swallowed by birds, scorched by the sun, or choked by weeds. But that which is on good soil will last.
“What does it look like to strengthen that foundation?” Tim asks. “There are a number of things we can be doing: understanding what you believe and why you believe it; that’s part of it. Make sure the church is a healthy place where we have accountability and can call out abuse. … All of those things are going to help create that solid foundation, so when crisis comes, you don’t end up being tossed into deconstruction.”
Deconstructing Christianity and Social Media
People leaving the faith isn’t new. People have left Christianity since before the term “Christian” was even used. There are accounts in the Bible of people turning away from God. What is new is how this is happening in online spaces.
In the past, when someone walked away from their faith, they often lost their community. But today, there are communities of “exvangelicals” and others who are going through or have gone through deconstruction. There are famous online personalities who talk about nothing but deconstruction. “You can follow these influencers, and you’re going to get engagement there. A lot of the content is just mocking Christianity,” Tim says.
These online discussions have led to deconstruction conferences, such as Decon 2023. Evangelical groups have often used conferences to equip people to grow in their faith. The conferences teach apologetics so people know the good reasons to be a Christian. Now, the deconstructionists are taking the other side. “These conferences are like ‘good reasons not to be a Christian.’ It’s like the anti-apologist,” Tim says.
Decon 2023 featured a lot of TikTokers as speakers, such as Jegaysus, who portrays himself as a gay Jesus in videos mocking Scripture. He has nearly 317,000 followers on TikTok. Other speakers included Queen of the Heathens and Rachel Cain (aka Blame Bill), who have 279,000 and 538,000 followers, respectively.
Those deconstruction coaches will work with you to help you through the process. And because truth and the Bible don’t matter, it doesn’t matter where you land … sort of. “They don’t care where you land, as long as you don’t land back in historic biblical Christianity, orthodox Christianity,” Tim says. “Because those beliefs of gender, sexuality, hell, and Jesus being the only way—go down the list—those are all toxic beliefs that you need to get rid of.”
Preference, not truth
In postmodern deconstructionist thought, “truth” isn’t necessarily objective. In her book Total Truth, author Nancy Pearcey writes: “The concept of truth itself has been divided—a process illustrated with the imagery of a two-story building: In the lower story are science and reason, which are considered public truth, binding on everyone. Over against it is an upper story of noncognitive experience, which is the locus of personal meaning. This is the realm of private truth, where we hear people say, ‘That may be true for you, but it’s not true for me.’”
That leads to a common misunderstanding when Christians say, “Christianity is true.” What we mean is that Christianity is objectively true: God is real; that Jesus is the son of God and part of the Holy Trinity, that He really died for our sins, was really resurrected, and through faith in Him, we may be saved. However, Tim and Alisa write in The Deconstruction of Christianity, “Our contemporary culture thinks we’re claiming, ‘Christianity is true for me.’ They assume we’re making a subjective claim, not an objective one. That’s because religious beliefs have been pushed into the upper story. Like choosing ice cream, many people assume that religious beliefs are based on your tastes or what works for you.”
According to deconstruction coaches, the religious destination you end up with after going through the process doesn’t matter because it’s all subjective, like choosing an ice cream or a vacation destination. “They’re treating religion as if it’s just personal preference,” Tim says.
The importance of questions
While deconstruction is harmful to one’s faith, asking questions is healthy. Barna Group reported in their article “Six Reasons Young Christians Leave the Church” that more than one-third of young Christians who left the church felt that church wasn’t a place where they couldn’t ask their most important questions. Some who go through deconstruction have said that their church treated questions as sinful.
On the contrary, asking difficult questions about your faith signifies spiritual maturity. “In virtually every deconstruction story, there were unanswered questions. When questions are suppressed, that’s what’s deadly to faith,” Tim says. “It’s when you’re asking your questions—this is what the research shows—that you’ll end up strengthening your faith.”
For that reason, it’s important for churches, small groups, ministries, and disciplers to cultivate safe environments for people to ask questions and express doubts. “It’s someone with a really shallow faith, they’re the ones not asking any questions. They haven’t moved to the deep end yet. Oftentimes the person who is struggling is because they’re asking the big questions because they’re thinking deeply about their faith,” Tim says.
For that reason, it’s important for churches, small groups, ministries, and disciplers to cultivate safe environments for people to ask questions and express doubts.
Barnett recommends all churches offer a Q&A time after the service, something that Timothy Keller modeled. After a ministry gathering or small group discussion, leave time for any questions that people have and encourage people to ask questions rather than holding them inside. “The only way they’re going to hold to these beliefs is if they understand them,” Tim says.
Today, people have more access to answers than ever before. If they have a question about faith, they can turn to Google or YouTube or ask a TikTok influencer. But are they going to find the right answers that way? “The church should be the place where those questions get asked and answered,” Tim says.
What can we do?
Like a divorce, deconstruction affects more than just the people deconstructing. It ruins relationships and hurts their friends and family. How we, as Christians, respond to people deconstructing their faith is important.
First, if someone says she’s deconstructing her faith, make sure you understand what she means. People use the term in different ways.
The next step is prayer. Pray that God works in her heart and brings her to a closer relationship with Him.
It’s essential to do what you can to stay in her life. People who go through deconstruction will often cut their ties with their Christian family or friends. Similarly, there have been Christians who have disowned family members because they deconstructed and walked away from the faith.
As much as it’s in your power, stay in a relationship with her so you can be there for her, pray for her, and answer any questions she has. Deconstruction is a long process; if a person returns to her faith, that is also a long process. You can’t fix this overnight. “The apologist in me just wants to say, ‘Hey, can I take you out to coffee and fix your theology?’” Tim says. “They didn’t deconstruct over coffee, and they’re not going to reconstruct over coffee.”
As you’re in a relationship with her, do what Tim calls “triage.” When someone comes to a hospital, all issues are treated based on their importance. A gunshot victim will be treated before a broken arm. With your friend, figure out the most important thing that needs to be addressed. “Is it a question that needs to be answered? Or is it a heart that needs to be comforted, heard, and listened to? Those are different responses,” Tim says.
It’s also important to set boundaries. You need to be able to have a relationship together despite your differences, so be intentional about that. Don’t let all of your time together become debates or, worse yet, arguments. But set aside time for theological discussions if she’s open to that.
Another thing you can do is to model Jesus well with that person. “They may not open up Matthew, Mark, Luke, or John, but they’re going to be watching your life. So model Jesus the best you can,” Tim says. “Show them Christ’s love, His teachings, and that we’re living that ourselves.”
How to respond to deconstruction online
Some Christians are “very online.” If you are, you’ve probably seen deconstruction posts on social media. You’ve seen former Christians mock the faith with the #exvangelical hashtag. You’ve seen the deconstruction coaches taking Bible verses out of context to make them seem ridiculous, irrelevant, or even immoral. And you’ve seen irreverent personalities like Jegaysus. So, how should Christians on social media respond to these deconstruction posts?
If you don’t know the person posting, Tim says it’s unlikely that your comment or response will impact them. “Lots of people are in the Red Pen Logic comments, and they tell me where to go and what they think of me,” Tim says. “That stuff isn’t well received. I typically ignore it.” So, if you leave a comment to correct a stranger’s TikTok post, they’ll probably ignore it as well.
Someone with a large following probably won’t even see your comment. “What I would do is maybe interact with other commenters. That might be helpful,” he says.
One problem with public online discussions, though, is that people are prone to guarding their turf. People are watching, so no one wants to back down, admit they’re wrong, or even concede that the other person has a point. So, it might be helpful to have that type of discussion in a private message.
Once, Tim made a Red Pen Logic post correcting someone’s theology. That person reacted with aggressive, angry comments and was met with hurtful messages from others. Tim sent him a private message to apologize for the hateful comments that resulted from the video. “By the end of the discussion, this person was thanking me and actually invited me out next time I’m in their neck of the woods,” Tim says.
For any comment you want to post, Tim recommends asking yourself, “Is this going to help, or is it just going to make me look better?”
If you use that discernment, commenting online can actually be helpful. “I love that there are lots of apologists in the comments of Red Pen,” Tim says. “There are Christians who are thoughtful, and they’re responding. If they feel that they have the gifting to do that, absolutely, they should. People have come to Christ.”
All Christians will experience a crisis at some point, and many of us will know people who deconstruct their faith. However, with a solid faith foundation and helpful responses, we can be prepared.
Try this
- Reflect on the strength of your spiritual foundation.
- Is there someone you know who is going through faith deconstruction? How can you love them well?