Most people donât like being put on the spot. Thatâs why people dread job interviews, first dates, and starting spiritual conversations. Each of these have the potential for a stressful moment where youâre asked a difficult question and donât know the answer. In fact, this fear is one of the top reasons for Christians not sharing their faith.
So what can you do when put in this situation? And how can you make sure this understandable fear doesnât prevent you from sharing the amazing gift of a relationship with Jesus? To answer that, Indigitous recently met with Tyler Ellis, director of a ministry called Letâs Talk Story, based in Hawaii.
Tyler recently gave a TEDx talk (watch it below) where he told the story of a conversation he had with a man at a wedding. The man shared about his life of abandonment and abuse and asked Tyler, âHow can anyone believe that God exists?â
Tyler was put on the spot, but instead of trying to come up with an answer that would satisfy the man, he said âI donât have an answer for you right now.â Tyler then invited the man to have a future discussion examining his questions about faith. âNever give a ten-cent answer to a million-dollar question,â Tyler told the audience.
Instead of trying to come up with something to say on the spot, Tyler decided to build a relationship that would allow deeper discussion in the future. âThereâs a different kind of anxiety we feel when weâre put on the spot by someone who doesnât share our faith,â Tyler tells Indigitous. âAnd I wonder how many missed opportunities go by every day because Christians avoid these conversations.â
Itâs okay to not know
So where did we get this idea that we need all the answers? Does God expect us to all be theological and Biblical scholars? Tyler points to 1 Peter as the closest Scripture to this idea.
“Set Christ apart as Lord in your hearts and always be ready to give an answer to anyone who asks about the hope you possess.”
âAt first glance, this passage might cause us to conclude weâve got to have all the answers all the time,â Tyler says. âBut thankfully it doesnât say, âBe ready to give an answer to anyone who asks about the latest church scandal, or slavery in the Old Testament, or quantum physics, or whether Adam and Eve had a belly button.â The answer that we should be ready to give is in specific regards to the hope we possess. ⌠Our hope is in Christ, whom we are to set apart as Lord.â
Be right about Jesus
You donât need all of the right answers, but you do need to be right about Jesus. Later in the TEDx talk, Tyler showed that even a lot of people who were raised Christian misunderstand salvation, thinking they are saved by works and that Jesusâ purpose was as an example to follow.
Tyler has memorized five truths about Jesus so that they are always on his heart. Our response to any question about God would flow from one of these truths:
- God loves us.
- We sinned.
- Death is the consequence of sin.
- Jesus came to save us.
- We must trust and follow Jesus.
âThe more those truths sink in for me, the more readily Iâm able to share them in a natural and discerning way that continues to mature with experience, stories, Scriptures, and illustrations,â Tyler says.
What to do when put on the spot
So keeping in mind that you donât need all the answers, but do need to understand who Jesus is and what He did for you, how should you respond when put on the spot? Tyler has three suggestions:
Saying âI donât knowâ is an answer. âThis communicates humility and honesty. Not to mention, it will likely drive us to search for the answer,â Tyler says. âWhy not invite the other person to search with us?â Tyler recommends Mark Mittelbergâs book The Questions Christians Hope No One Will Ask.â
Asking a question in response to a question is an answer. âJesus did this a lot and weâd do well to follow his example,â Tyer says. A great book on this topic is Tactics by Gregory Koukl.
Postponing your answer is an answer. âRegardless of who initiates the conversation, our goal is to have conversations that actually accomplish something,â Tyler says. âAnd from my experience, an off-the-cuff conversation around the proverbial water cooler isnât nearly as effective as meeting up for coffee.â
Plan ahead
Itâs okay to feel nervous about having a faith conversation. Thatâs totally normal. And itâs fine to not want to be put on the spot; no one really likes that. âThe next time youâre put on the spot, if itâs an option, try transitioning that spontaneous conversation to a scheduled conversation,â Tyler says. âYou might say, âI donât want to offer a ten-cent answer to a million-dollar question. What do you say we grab coffee next week, my treat?ââ
You can use the time in between to prepare for that meeting. âDevote yourself to prayer, do some research, talk to friends and church leaders, and pick up a couple copies of a book that deals with the topic at hand,â Tyler says.
We pray that your future spontaneous and planned conversations are fruitful.
You can watch Tyler’s full TEDx talk below.

